Sexpert Spotlight Series with Phallophile Reviews

After I was disappointed with my first five sex toy purchases, I was like, "It has to be better than this." So I started reading more, and learned about body-safe products and individual preferences. Back then, I was working as a book editor. And as I browsed more reviews online, I thought maybe I could be a writer too. The final push was when I realized everybody had vibrator reviews, but where were the dildo details? So I started composing a Silicone Dildo Guide. 

Can you tell us how the name of your blog came to be, and how friends and family have responded to your work and presence on social media?

I was seeking a unique word that communicated "dildos only," and I may be a little pedantic 😆, so I emerged with this Greco-Latin term phallophile, meaning "lover of phalluses (dicks)." (Of course I expanded to write vibrator rankings as well, once I encountered how good a vibrating motor can be!)

My parents know I promote adult products, but they never ask for details. My dad has never judged me here, but he stopped including anything about my career in his family Xmas letter. (Which is funny, but also slightly tragic! Does safe pleasure need to be taboo?!)

What do you enjoy most about what you do? 

I like seeing my work rank for search terms, so I know people are able to find my ratings and weigh that info as they pick a new toy. I also enjoy when readers email me / leave a comment to say how my writing helped them find something new and fun (and safe!).

You write extensive and detailed reviews and comparison pieces on pleasure products. Where does that knowledge come from and how do you keep track of the product specs? 

I'm super detail-oriented, so I think the comparisons come naturally to me. I like tools and numbers, so I use as many gadgets as I can, from shore durometers to measuring apps!

What improvements would you like to see in the pleasure product industry?

Greater transparency as a guiding principle. But it's tough because there will always be bad actors—from ridiculously false marketing, to really seedy materials, etc.—in the name of pure profit. So, I just try to educate the toy-interested: letting people know common pitfalls to look out for, like that their dildo shouldn't smell like a cheap shower curtain. Thankfully, silicone is becoming more affordable and so much more widely produced, so I do think we're moving in the right direction there.

What do you wish the world better understood about sex and pleasure?

That individual preference is a range, a spectrum perhaps—it varies from person to person. For example, as a new toy buyer, it's easy to assume there's "a best vibrator for women." And yeah, the Satisfyer Pro 2 or the Magic Wand Rechargeable is going to be awesome for a lot of people with clitorises, but neither toy is going to be a home-run for everybody all the time. So you gotta recognize what you/your partner likes, think about what and why; and don't consider it a total failure if a new toy or sex act doesn't *click* right away. Could be a learning experience!

What is your favorite pleasure product of all time? 

That's like asking me to choose a favorite food; can't pick just one! 😂 My "always in rotation" toys are the Pillow Talk Sassy by BMS, the We-Vibe Nova 2, the Viben Sultry, and…unfortunately my perfectionism in re dildos is too high, so I can't pin down one there still. Maybe one day! 

What is a little known fact about you? 

Walking (or biking) is my favorite hobby, because it's fantastic to get up from the computer & clear my head during the day. Recently I've realized how awesome it is to use a few moments there to be glad for what a great line of work I'm in, and how grateful I am for any and all readers who trust my judgment about toys.

What lasting impression do you want people to have of your contribution to the sexual health and wellness industry? 

That I helped people find excitement and quality.

Where can our readers find you online? 

Phallophilereviews.com, or use the shortcut URL phal.reviews (not .com)! Check out my favorites on my own page here at Betty's.  Thank you so much for reading!!!