Frank Talk About Vaginas and Menopause

As a menopausal woman myself, I have a lot of friends who are at that same stage in life. Recently, I was at a ladies’ night when the subject of vaginas came up (after several glasses of wine, of course). Specifically, how uncomfortable and dry some of us were feeling during sex. Once one of us bravely shared our struggles, it was as if a floodgate had been opened, and everyone started sharing their issues.

Vaginal and vulvar dryness, both internal and external

Discomfort during sex or bleeding after

Feeling like the vagina is shorter or tighter

Itching

Burning sensations when peeing

Discharge

Increased urinary tract infections

Incontinence

All of us had at least two of these symptoms. All of us are either deep into perimenopause (the transitional period before menopause) or menopausal (diagnosed after you've gone 12 months without a menstrual period).

If this resonates with you or somebody you love, read on for some tips and advice for somebody who is in the menopause trenches with you. 

WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY?

As we’re going through perimenopause, our estrogen levels start to decrease.  Estrogen is basically what makes our vaginas plump and fertile and, for lack of a better word, juicy. It gives our vaginas the elasticity they need for childbirth and sex. It also produces certain acids that protect us from infection. Perimenopause symptoms usually start around age 40-44, but can begin as early as a woman's mid 30s.

As we get older and experience perimenopause and menopause, decreased estrogen levels can result in changes in our vaginas. These changes can lead to symptoms that were mentioned earlier.

On top of all that, there are the psychological issues that come with perimenopause, like depression and lack of sex drive, that make it difficult to even WANT to do anything about what’s going on “down there.”

So, what is a gal to do? 

DON’T IGNORE YOUR SYMPTOMS

If you have concerns, remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Just because your friends aren’t talking about it doesn’t mean it’s not happening. 

CHANGE YOUR LAUNDRY HABITS

If you have external itching, take a look at your laundry detergent and switch to something without dyes or perfumes. Don’t use fabric softener or dryer sheets either and switch to dryer balls. This will hopefully help immediately with the uncomfortable external itching.

TOSS OUT THE SOAP

The delicate lips of your vulva get dry and thin as we age, which can be a huge cause of itching and discomfort. If you can, only wash your vulva with plain water but if you feel you need something more, ditch the soap for a specially formulated feminine cleanser like Exsens Intime Intimate Cleanser Foam . Companies like Exsens take the time to do the research necessary, making sure products maintain a woman’s delicate PH balance while also lightly moisturizing with natural ingredients.

FIND A GREAT LUBRICANT

There are lubricants specifically formulated to be used every day to help women regain that natural feeling of moisture we had when we were younger. I recommend Sliquid Naturals Satin which is infused with aloe vera, vitamin E, and carrageenan and formulated specifically to be used daily by women who are experiencing regular or periodic dryness. You can even use a syringe to really coat your inner walls.

MASTURBATE

Let’s face it, our sex drives vary a lot at middle age. Some of our partners are losing interest in sex or having issues of their own, so there is nothing wrong with taking things into your own hands, so to speak. With no partner to worry about, you can focus on your own pleasure. Orgasms are critical to getting the blood flowing in the vagina and helping keep those vaginal walls supple and stretchy and healthy.

FIND SOME GREAT SEX TOYS

Orgasms really help to get the blood flowing throughout your entire pelvic region. If you’re having trouble orgasming, I highly recommend a Magic Wand which has the power to tease an orgasm out of the most reluctant clitoris. If the size is daunting but you still need power I really recommend the Zumio Clitoral Stimulator.  Its oscillating head creates quick, intense orgasms that will blow your mind and it's small, quiet, and easy to handle. This is a toy made for women by women. 

TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR

All the symptoms I listed earlier are completely normal in perimenopausal and menopausal women and yet so many of us think they are just something we must live with. No way, sister. If you don’t want to try any of my hints, or if you think you may have let the situation go on too long, get yourself to a doctor. Trust me, they’ve heard it all and they’re not going to be shocked or appalled by your uncomfortable vagina situation. You may want to try a prescription vaginal estrogen cream and they can help you choose one which may be right for you. You can also get low dose estrogen vaginal rings which stay in place and release low doses directly.