An Introduction to BDSM

Sex is like dessert; there are many types to choose from and they can all be amazing. When it comes to the concept of BDSM (bondage, domination, submission, and masochism), many people think of the popular series “Fifty Shades of Grey”. This has made people more comfortable exploring kinky sex, but the series doesn't portray BDSM positively. If you’re thinking of spicing things up in the bedroom this way, there are a few things you should know before buying your first item.

Consent is mandatory

Just like any other form of sex, consent is non-optional when it comes to BDSM. Both you and your partner should be comfortable with what you’re doing at all times, whether it be foreplay or sex. Decide on a a safe word or action before you engage on any BDSM play.

Dominant vs. Submissive vs. Switch

In BDSM, there are two roles: the Dominant (Dom) and the Submissive (Sub). The Dom is the one usually giving the orders and performing the acts on the Sub, while the Sub is receiving the order and acts upon the request of the Dom.

The people who like doing both roles are called Switches. It may take a while to figure out who should be the Dom or the Sub in your current relationship, so both people participating should have a chance to see what role they’re more comfortable with. Who knows, you both may be Switches.

After Care Routines

In any BDSM session, you want to set up an aftercare kit in case any injuries, bruising or redness occurs. Your aftercare kit should consist of a basic first aid kit that can be found at any big box store, aloe vera products that can soothe the skin, and ice packs to calm redness. 

We also recommend that you take breaks between your BDSM sessions to allow you time to recover. As the saying goes, safety first. 

Find What You Like

BDSM is composed of many different components (bondage, spanking, sense play, etc.) that may not appeal to all people. If you’re new to BDSM, this means that you’re going to have to do a little research and experimenting by yourself or with a partner to find out what exactly you like. Luckily, we created a list of items to give you an idea of what’s out there.

Tie Me Up

One of the easiest ways to introduce yourself to the aspects of BDSM is by starting off with bondage. By tying someone up by the wrists, ankles, arms or legs, a Dom has complete control over their Sub, creating an adrenaline rush or a relaxing state of pleasure. The two most common forms of bondage restraints available are rope and handcuffs.

We don't recommend the handcuffs for beginners. As the cuffs are metal, they can easily dig into the skin and can cause serious damage to the wrists if used improperly or put on too tightly. If you're a beginner, we recommend getting restraints that are easily adjustable and made out materials such as leather, or faux leather.

Hit Me With Your Best Shot

Believe it or not, many people enjoy “love taps” or spanking sessions from time to time as it can excite nerve endings in an intimate pleasure environment. Chances are you have already tried this or considered trying this in the bedroom as all it requires is a hand and a butt. If you’re thinking of going to the next level with this aspect of BDSM, then here are a few suggestions:

For those of you who don’t know what a flogger is, the best way to describe it is like a whip that has been unbraided. This makes it feel less painful than an actual whip while still allowing a pleasurable sting if needed, making it one of the better beginner options to the pain/pleasure stimulation. This should be used if you want to try mixing pain and pleasure on multiple parts of the body, such as the back, chest, and legs.

Suppressing the Senses

One of the best ways to spice up things in the bedroom is to take away one of the senses of you or your partner temporarily. The most common form of this would be using a blindfold, which allows for an element of mystery in what your partner is doing. The best blindfolds are the ones that feel comfortable to the user, and allow for little to no visibility.

Submit to Your Master

For those looking to play more into the Dom/Sub relationship that occurs in BDSM, a collar is one of the ways to explore that relationship in the beginning stages. Normally, it is worn by the submissive as a sign of ownership, at least temporarily. Collars can be worn in public or just stay in the confines of the bedroom; it’s all up to you how you and your partner want to use it.