A Beginner's Guide to Pegging for Couples: Anal Play 101

You’ve likely heard of pegging by now, with its surge in popular culture, and if you’re intrigued, you’re not alone. The term pegging originated in Dan Savage’s “Savage Love” column but it's a tradition as ancient as dildos themselves!

The definition of pegging is a sexual practice where a person with a vulva performs anal sex on a person with a penis by penetrating the anus with a strap-on dildo. It may sound clinical, but oh boy, can it feel amazing for both involved, with intense prostate stimulation for the receiver and some amazing clitoral stimulation for the giver… if you do it correctly.

As always, Betty has your back, so read on for some great tips to make pegging an orgasmic and satisfying part of your sex life.

FIND YOUR PERFECT HARNESS AND DILDO

Ideally you want a harness and dildo combo that is going to give pleasure to the both of you. Many have inner pockets where you can slip a bullet vibrator that gives clitoral stimulation to the person wearing it.  Betty’s Guide to Buying a Strap-On Harness will get you started. A powerful bullet like the Limited Addiction Power Bullet Vibe is our recommendation for being both small enough to fit in most vibrator pockets, and powerful enough to give intense stimulation even though the fabric of a harness. For dildos, if you want something small and meant purely for beginners, we recommend the Please Slim Anal Silicone 5 Inch Dildo by Sportsheets. It is silicone, which is the preferred material for anal play, it is super slim, and it is made to fit in a harness. Any anal toy should have a flared base. 

START WITH FINGERS AND LOTS OF LUBE

If you are completely new to anal play, start with having your partner use their fingers on you and lots of lubricant. Betty’s Beginners Guide to Prostate (or P-Spot Stimulation) is going to point you in the right direction so that both of you know what you’re aiming for and to get your sphincter muscles used to the relaxation needed for comfortable penetration. We also recommend NOT using anything for numbing or desensitizing the anus because you need to know how everything is feeling every step of the way. At Betty’s we LOVE Wicked Anal Jelle Water Based Lubricant because it is a water based lube that is extremely thick and so it stays where you put it, lasts a long time, and has lots of cushion.  

USE THE DILDO MANUALLY FIRST

Use the dildo on yourself, and have your partner use it on you too before you move on to using the harness. This will allow you both to discover what angles feel most comfortable, how much lube is needed, and what your comfort level is. Once the dildo is in a harness, it’s more difficult to have complete control so the more familiar and comfortable you are with anal play, the better. If you're worried about mess, you can always slip a condom over the dildo. 

FIND A GOOD POSITION

Probably the most popular position for pegging is doggie style, with the receiving partner on their hands and knees, and the other kneeling behind. Not only does this give great access to the anus, it also puts you at a good angle for prostate stimulation and allows the giver to reach around and stimulate your penis at the same time. It also means the person wearing the harness is going to have some firm stimulation from either the base of the dildo or a bullet vibrator.

STRAP UP AND START SLOWLY

Now you should be good to go! Use lots of lubricant and patience. For the partner wearing the harness, it is going to take some getting used to and it can be difficult to judge how forcefully you’re thrusting your hips. Communication is the key to pegging and remember that anal sex should NEVER be painful. Take it slow and enjoy!

 Be sure to check out Betty's large selection of pegging dildo and harness sets available by clicking the box below