10 Kink Toys for BDSM Beginners by Submissive Feminist
People who are new to kink can sometimes feel like a “kid in a candy store” when it comes to toys. BDSM is all about exploration and kink toys are the tools we use to experience various sensations. Truth is, everyone starts somewhere different but there are a lot of basic kink toys that can help you figure out what you enjoy about BDSM. Here are 10 different types of kink toys to help you find the right ones to try next:
1. Cuffs
A pair of basic handcuffs is the ultimate gateway kink toy for any curious couple. They’re a relatively low-cost accessory that allows folks to experiment with power play dynamics. Whether you’re going for a classic pair of metal handcuffs or prefer the comfort of faux fur-lined cuffs, there’s something for everyone. Be sure to have a conversation about limits and establish a safeword before diving into play that includes restraint.
2. Blindfold
Sensory exploration is a super beginner-friendly way to heighten sexual experiences and the majority of it doesn’t even require costly BDSM gear.
One of the easiest ways to start off with sensory play is to have one partner wear a blindfold while the other explores their body. Having your sight restricted can make you more responsive to other senses like touch, taste, and smell. Try putting an ice cube in your mouth and trailing kisses down your partner’s chest or letting them explore your body with kissable foreplay oil while blindfolded.
3. Low-temp wax
Playing with ice is a fun and easy way to kick things off with temperature play but for those looking to turn up the heat, try some hot candle wax that’s specifically designed for kink. Household candles can contain fragrances and dyes that can reach unsafe temperatures when lit, but candles sold specifically for wax play burn at a lower temperature. They’re still a fun and exciting way to play, but in a safer range. Not ready for full-on wax play? Bring some heat to the bedroom in a gentler context with a romantic massage candle.
4. Rope
If the idea of rope bondage sparks an interest in you, I highly suggest getting a starter bundle of bondage rope. Starter rope can be pretty inexpensive, but you may find yourself upgrading gear over time. Jute is a popular material when investing in better bondage gear but if you’re just testing the waters, you can go for an inexpensive synthetic. In addition to the rope itself, you’re going to need a pair of safety scissors in case you need to release your partner in an emergency situation.
5. Gag
Gags are another classic kink toy that you definitely have to try out at some point. Depending on your personal preferences and the size of your mouth, different styles of gags may work better than others. While ball gags are a classic starter for most people, folks with smaller mouths might find standard ball sizes to be too large for long-term use. If this is an issue, I recommend trying a more forgiving ring gag that still lets you play with all the hot aspects of gags (helplessness, drooling, fun noises, etc.) without putting yourself through unwanted discomfort.
6. Nipple clamps
There’s nothing like having a pair or two or nipple clamps in your toy bag for when the mood strikes. For some, nipple stimulation can be incredibly erotic but it’s not for everyone so test out pinching and pulling by hand before investing in a pair of clamps. Keep in mind there are a few different styles of nipple clamps to choose from. Go for adjustable nipple clamps if you’re just starting out, and maybe graduate to clamps with added weight once you’re comfortable with tweezer-style or alligator clamps. Remember that pain from wearing nipple clamps can get more intense over time and usually climaxes once you remove the clamps and the blood rushes back to the area.
7. Paddle
Impact play is a really common interest in the kink community (but definitely not required!) and the classic paddle is a fantastic starter kink toy for budding sadomasochists. A paddle made of vinyl, which makes a great low-cost option for folks looking to explore the sensations of light spanking. If you’re looking for something a little more intense, try a double layer slapper paddle or a vegan paddle made of acrylic, rubber, and faux leather.
8. Flogger
Floggers are an impact toy that have a very different sensation compared to a paddle. Depending on the material and design of the flogger, they can be classified as either “thuddy,” or “stingy,” which are the most common sensations you get with impact play. If you like the idea of heavy, broad pain, try a thick, thuddy leather flogger. If you prefer the feeling of sharp pain that’s more precise, try something with angled or sharp-tipped ends that will give more of a bite to each hit. You can also get something that has a blend of both sensations.
9. Crop
Crops tend to be very stingy, as they have a concentrated area of contact when compared to a paddle or flogger. It’s a lot of fun to contrast this with softer sensations to keep your partner guessing. Double-sided crops combine the pain-play of impact with tickling sensation play for a blended mix that can be really exciting!
10. Electrostim
Electrostim isn’t what I’d recommend for a person’s very first kink toy but if you’ve already tried most of the toys on this list, it’s a great next step. Electrostim can range from a soft, tickling sensation to full on pain play–it depends on the toy you’re using. For something that has more of a “shock” factor to it, you can try the Stinger.
Remember that kink includes a very broad spectrum of activities and these are just ten starter ideas to get your creative juices flowing. Don’t limit your exploration to these toys alone. There are tons of different kinds of toys for pleasure and pain and you deserve to try them all!
Submissive Feminist is a blog that focuses on the intersection of kink and sex-positive feminism. SF has been writing about BDSM and reviewing sex toys for over 12 years. Her passion is making people comfortable enough to explore their deepest fantasies in a safe and ethical way.